QUOTE: We shall never have friends if we expect to find them without fault.
--- Thomas Fuller--
QUOTE: I'm not going to limit myself just because people won't accept the fact that i can do something else
--Dolly Parton--
Now for the jokes
Student: sir, i have a complaint. i don't belive i deserve a zero on this exam.
Tutor: Neither do i, but its the lowerst grade i can give.
Whats the fastest cake?
Scone.
Q) Why did the mexican throw his wife off the cliff?
A) Tequila.
Q) How did the English man take revenge on his wife?
A) Bitter
Did you hear about the leopards that keeps itself too clean?
He's spotless
You know your a mother when....
You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
and
You use your own saliva to clean a child's face.
I'm Learning to be a cat-burglar, A cat is teaching Me-ow.
After a young couple brought their baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers, "I'm busy, i'll do the next one." he said
The next time came around and she asked again. The husband looked puzzled, "oh i did'nt mean the next diaper i ment the next baby!"
Two Stray cats on a wall;
Cat1- Meow
Cat2- Woof!
Cat1- Woof? what sort of reply is that?
Cat2- I'm learning a foreign language.
Two fish in a tank, one says to the other "How do you drive this thing"
The Doctor preparing to endorse a cheque, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to write with it.
Realizing his mistake he looked with annoyance and said "Well great, just great.....Some asshole's got my pen!"
I used to be a bestial sado - necrophilliac,
until I realised I was flogging a dead horse
Two parrots sitting on a perch one says to the other
"can you smell fish"
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